My Blog

Traveling

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 06:25:03 -0500

I got back from a visit to Germany last Saturday. I spent a week with my brother and his family and, while I was there, saw some of France and Switzerland. This is a picture taken from Interlaken, Switzerland in the heart of the Swiss Alps. Amazing place!

As we traveled around a small section of Europe in his Ford Focus, my brother and I had a chance to talk about many things. We talked about serious things, funny things, and nonsensical things. I enjoyed it all tremendously. When we would arrive at our destination for the day, we would talk about what we wanted to do. My brother would then calculate in his mind the words he would need to be able to communicate it in the local language and within the boundaries of the local culture. For example, apparently in the part of France we visited, it is rude to assume someone does not know English. If your French is weak, it is appropriate to ask if they know English. BUT, it you don’t try the local language and ask, in French or German, if they speak English, that is also slightly rude. Whew! That’s a lot to remember.

I know I always to go the big picture with these things, but it got me thinking again. I live in this world but I am not of it. I work hard at knowing the language of the world around me, but I am asked not to speak it. God has asked me to speak a language that reflects my true home, His Kingdom. He has asked me not to complain, a common dialect of the world. He has asked me not to slander or gossip or insult with my language. Whew! That’s hard!! The customs of the culture I live in dictate that I use language to build myself up, even at another’s expense. But my Homeland asks the opposite. I am asked to use words to build others up and to humble myself.

I love traveling and seeing other places in the world. It truly is one of my favorite things. It teaches me more about my own culture (good and bad) and allows me to see the “sameness” of people. We all need family. We all want joy. We all love our children and enjoy celebrations. We all need a Savior because we all experience pain and shame. And so, I want to be a missionary of sorts to the dying world around me. My brother is bringing Christ to Europe through technology. It’s very cool. I want to bring Christ to Savannah, GA through counseling. Whatever the means, Christ comes through relationships, something else we all need.

I pray that whether God takes you to Europe, or Africa, or America that you would bring His Life with you as we face a culture that resists Him. May we reflect our true Home instead of becoming caught up in this world’s culture. Shine the light, baby, shine the light:).

Christmas Traditions

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 21:43:17 -0500

This is a scene from my parents’ house. Every year the mechanical Claus family, including Rudolf, relocate from the attic to the ledge above the refrigerator to bring my family a sense of familiar. Each time I see them I am reminded of previous years and all the memories that have accumulated under those animated decorations.

This past Friday night, I celebrated Christmas with my brother and his family in Germany. While they have established their own traditions, they still reflect the familiar patterns and style of how he and I grew up: they read the Christmas story, everyone opened one gift at a time. The only significant differences were the fact that my parents were not with us in Germany and there was no crackling sound from Mr. and Mrs. Claus. I guess it’s not the decorations that make it familiar. It’s not even the location. It’s the family part of familiar that counts.

Maybe that’s why God uses so many relationship metaphors to relate to us. We are His children and His friends. Jesus is our brother and our groom. It’s almost as if God wants to give us so many angles to understand Him so that we don’t miss what He’s trying to be for us. He wants to be familiar family. While the Claus family on the ledge at my parents’ house does not equal Christmas for me, it does help prepare me for what’s coming. In the same way, my service at church or my time in the Bible does not equal my relationship with God. But it does prepare me for it. These kinds of ‘traditions’ help me to stay ‘familiar’ with God.

God became human for us to know Him. He became one of us to relate in familiar, intimate ways. His desire to connect and relate to us is beyond my comprehension but I know that His passion for us is far greater than we can offer back. I pray that this Christmas season would be a time not of simply observing traditions, but of allowing the familiar to break through to the deepest parts and bring the life that Christmas offers. Emmanuel, God is with us. He has become our family. Merry Christmas!

O Holy Night

Thu, 3 Dec 2009 06:21:40 -0500

“O holy night, the starts are brightly shining. It is the night of our dear Savior’s birth. Long lay the world in sin and error pinning ‘til He appeared and the soul felt its worth.”

The soul felt its worth.

Christmas is the time when we can embrace how much value God has placed on our humanity. As we watch all the holiday movies and find that the meaning of Christmas is not shopping and presents but a spirit of giving, we are still missing the point. Christmas was God’s rescue mission to save us from our own demise. His sacrifice was not just 33 years of walking the Earth and then dying. While this is a huge deal, it is bigger still: Jesus is still human, raised in perfection. He is still fully God, but He is also still the Son of Man. He became one of us forever. O holy night...

In Genesis 3:15, then Satan tempted Eve to eat the forbidden fruit, God spoke strong words to His enemy: “I will put enmity between you and the woman, between your seed and her seed; He shall bruise you on the head, and you shall bruise him on the heel.”

Mankind had sided with God’s enemy through temptation. God spoke to Satan and told him that He would make Satan and Mankind enemies again. Eve’s “Seed” would crush Satan’s head. Mary’s little baby, born in a manger, was God’s response to Satan’s treachery. God became human to beat Satan at his own game. Satan’s accusation: God is not good and cannot be trusted. God’s response: to become one of us forever, to serve and to love us beyond measure, and as a human to never leave or forsake us.

The soul felt its worth.

I firmly believe that God is not trying to punish us for what Adam and Eve did. I believe He is trying to save us from it. I pray that as you prepare for Christmas this year, you would remember the value that God has placed on your soul. He wants you. He loves you. And He was willing to secretly slide into our world one holy, starry night to save you.

Packing to go to Germany

Wed, 2 Dec 2009 06:40:42 -0500

In just 48 hours, I will be getting ready to board a plane to Atlanta. Once there, I will board another plane to Zurich, Switzerland. My nephew, Alex (who turns 9 on Sunday), has no idea that I’m coming. The plan is for he and Krista (my sister-in-law) to pick up a woman, named Raye (my middle name), from the airport. After I surprise him (hee hee) we will drive back to Kandern, Germany where they live.

It’s hard to believe I will see my family so soon. I have a lot to do to get ready. But I’m so excited that it shouldn’t be a problem.

The weather in Germany is very different than Savannah, Georgia this time of year. They have a light dusting of snow. It was 75 here yesterday. I have had to find some of my New York clothes (winter coat, wool sweater, turtle neck, gloves, etc.). Where I’m going is not like here. This got me thinking...

If you know me then you know I find meaning in the silliest things and turn everything into some kind of lesson. It’s the teacher in me. Packing for Germany has triggered a thought about how I live my Christian life. This promise of seeing my family has led us to communicate a lot more. As I choose my clothes for this week, I’m avoiding the things I will need to pack. I find I am very purposeful in my choices of how I spend my time and energy after work, even how I spend my breaks during work. I have a lot to do and I want to get it all done.

What if I had the same approach to my life here on Earth as it relates to my eternal life in Heaven? Where I’m going (after this life) is not like here. Can I choose to live with that level intentionality as I decide how to use my after-work energy and how I spend my break times? Can I live “on purpose” like I’m preparing my treasure in Heaven, sacrificing what I want here in order to pack it for later? Without this kind of perspective, what keeps me from indulging all my desires? Without the promise of Heaven, what makes living without all I want and need possible?

And so, God gives us tastes of Heaven, like me hugging my family on Saturday. Or good friends who text at the right time. Or a silly dog who has silly habits that make me laugh. We celebrate Christmas because Jesus came to bring us tastes of Heaven. With His incarnation, we have the promise of Eternity. I want to communicate with Him more as I anticipate seeing Him face-to-face one day. Until then, I want to pack for Heaven, building up my treasure there instead of spending it all here. The Incarnation gave us our ticket to spend forever with Jesus. Can we spend our lives on this side of eternity with that in mind? Can we allow the promise of Heaven to order and structure how we plan and function here?

I pray that this Advent Season brings you constant reminders that we are not here forever. We do not need to set up a permanent camp and just settle for the day-to-day lives in which we often feel stuck. We can begin to pack for Heaven. We can deny ourselves the drive to have every desire and need instantly fulfilled, knowing that one day they will all be fully realized.

I know...kinda deep for just packing a suitcase...but that’s how God teaches me. I hope you will begin to pack for Heaven by storing up your treasures there.

Thanks for reading.

New Reasons for Thankful

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 21:54:01 -0500

“When God closes a door, He opens a window.” While this expression is nowhere in the Bible, it does often ring true. God closed the MINI door but gave me a brand new (3 miles on it) Honda Fit. I am so thankful for the new ride and the generousness of the interest-free loan from my Dad.

I was trying to get my MINI paid off so that I would not owe money to a bank, given what is happening in our economy right now. When I had the accident, I thought I would have to start over. My father agreed that it would be unwise to borrow a large sum of money from a bank right now but insisted that I buy a new car as many of the used cars around were recently subject to flooding. I told him that I could not have it both ways. He told me he wanted to help me so that I could. I am very thankful for the car, but even more thankful for my father.

This has not always been. My father and I have had some difficult times. But God is an amazing God and He has given me a deepening respect for my father. While I have always wanted to work on my relationship with him, my dad’s work and activities always kept him from focusing on our relationship. But since his retirement, he has become more aware of what it takes to make relationships work. Relationships are hard work and I think he has come to realize that effort, not outcome, is key. He is trying more. He is listening more. For the first time in my life, I feel heard by him. I am so thankful. He is trying very hard to learn how to relate to me and love me well. He really has a lot of wisdom and I am starting to be able to receive it from him.

I blame God for this. He has been working on my Dad’s heart. It’s obvious. And, I think, He’s been working on mine. I believe that I am approaching (but have not yet arrived at) the time when my parents will rely on me more. I can sense their bodies don’t work as well now. My Mom’s health has been a struggle. They need my help more than even a year ago. I think God has changed both my heart and my father’s so that, when he needs me, I can be there for him without resentment. I can freely give to him and honor him as my father. This is no small thing. I am so grateful for the freedom to love and give to my parents.

I can’t speak from the parent side. I’m sure I have not been the easiest daughter in the world. But God has used this relationship to help me grow. My parents have given me so much. I needed to give them more of me. I needed to learn how to love them back well. I guess I’m still learning that.

If anyone reading this has ever had issues with parents, I pray for the same kind of heart change in your relationship. I pray that God will provide a way for you to honor your father and mother and thus fulfill that commandment. Sometimes it’s hard when there have been hard feelings and misunderstandings. I encourage you to allow God to help you forgive. It’s worth it. I promise.

It’s Always Something!

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 06:33:08 -0500

I find it interesting that over time the force of water flowing can change the landscape completely. Linville Falls in North Carolina is a beautiful example. Water rushing down into the gorge has caused a stunning waterfall. The picture to the right was taken from the top. Water has shaped the rocks and created it own path though what was, thousands of years ago, a solid mass of hard stone. Little by little, over years and years, the water has won.

I have situations in my life that act as rushing water over my stony, hard, fleshly thinking. I was reminded of this yesterday. I had a great day at work (very busy but that’s normal) and then coffee with a dear friend. It seemed perfect. I pulled into my driveway, opened the mailbox, and there was yet another letter from the New York State Department of Taxation. Now they have issued some sort of warrant to collect a smaller amount of money, stating that I still owe from 2004, 2005, and 2006. We have already resolved this four times. Apparently, one department has never spoken to the other. Ever. I’m not sure they even know each other. The funny thing is, I only lived in New York for two months in 2006. It’s always something.

My first thought was not good. I panicked and called my friend who did my books for me during that time. I chewed her out. I told her that this is the last thing I need; I’m trying to buy a car; I have to leave for Charlotte after work tomorrow (today); This was supposed to be over three years ago....

I felt overwhelmed.

I’m sure rocks feel like the rushing water is the enemy. It never relents. It’s always pushing and shaping and cutting away. Day after day. And over time, this water transforms the rocks into a different appearance. The rocks become smooth.

These challenges in my life definitely feel like the enemy to my heart, always stirring my anxiety and fear. But I think, in the middle of it all, God is shaping me. He is, I hope, making me more smooth.

This is Thanksgiving week. So many people are posting how thankful they are for their children, their spouses, their stuff. I am definitely thankful for the people God has placed in my life. I have some of the best friends in the world. And while I’m not quite there (almost), I am learning to be thankful for the rushing water in my life. I am learning that it is always something, but it is not for nothing.

The Dream is Tested

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 08:51:50 -0500

I got the letter yesterday. InterVarsity Press said that I “write well and have good insights here. However.....” They have declined publication. I’m not really surprised. And this is certainly not my last effort. It means the path is longer and the dream is tested under more patience. From what I can read in the letter, they won’t publish me because I’m not famous enough and they are unwilling to risk limited book sales, in this economy, with an unknown. That’s fair. And good stewardship on their part. I’m sad but still determined. I believe God wants this stuff out there.

So what is “this stuff”? I have noticed a huge disconnect between what a person (specifically a Christian person) understands with their heads and lives in their hearts and lives. Have you? I mean how many Christians are having affairs? Or letting anger take over their lives? How many church-attending people cheat on taxes and have trouble with the law? I’m not talking about people who are new to the church scene. I’m talking about people who are in leadership positions in various volunteer positions. I mean, they volunteer at church...so they must be righteous, right? They know a lot of stuff in their minds, but they don’t know how to live it in their hearts.

Most often, in the Church at large, we address this problem as behavior issues. The cure: obedience. If we just act in obedience, we believe, then our hearts will change. Now I am all for obedience, but these are heart issues. We cannot fix our heart issues. The broken, fallen, human heart is trying to cope with its brokenness and the result is sinful behavior. So what if God is not trying to get us better at “sin management” but is, instead, trying to bind and heal our broken hearts?

Paul, in Romans 7, hits a wall that we all need to crash into: “For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.” (verse 19). We need to acknowledge that trying to behave and do “godly things” does not work outside the context of our relationship with God. When we get to the end of ourselves and our feeble attempts to obey completely, we get Romans 8:3: “What the Law could not do, God did!”

My book is about what it looks like for God to transform us. It is not self-help in that I do not believe we can help ourselves with this. And so, I believe that one day, God will get it out there. I believe that He wants to heal hearts, including yours and mine, more than he wants us to behave well. If God has healed the need to cope with brokenness, there is no more need to sin.

By the way, the word “saved” and “healed” are the same in the New Testament.

Thanks for reading. Blessings on your day.

Nothing is A Lot!

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:26:24 -0500

Recently a friend told me that he has tithed for years and God has blessed him with an abundance of “stuff.” Another friend told me that she was blessed to be a wife and mother and was trying to figure out why she “deserved” such goodness in her life. It got me thinking.

I am 41 years old (don’t tell anyone). I tithe, do full-time ministry, and practice many Spiritual disciplines. I have no house, no husband, no children, no car (at the moment). I have nothing that makes others feel God’s love for them. Hmmm.....

So I got to thinking even more. I guess the biggest surprise for me is that I am content. I’m not hurt or angry because I don’t have any of these things. A friend reminded me that I have the greatest dog ever and I do own an iPhone. I just don’t have what everyone in our culture seems to perceive as markers of maturity. I don’t have any “stuff.”

In Luke 11:11-13, Jesus tells a story about a child asking his father for fish. Will the father give him a snake? If he needs an egg, will his father give him a scorpion? No. So if a father knows how to give good things to his children, how much more will God the Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask. But what if I ask for a fish? Will God give me the Holy Spirit? Yes.

When God gives Himself, everything else is included. When I need wisdom, He shows up to BE my wisdom, not just give it to me. When I need peace, He IS my peace. He IS my hope, my joy, my patience, my love, my kindness, my self-control. I don’t have fish or eggs, but I do have the Holy Spirit and He is enough for me.

I think the loss of my Mini has taught me that in a bigger way. My car was the only thing I owned. Now I’m in between vehicles and so my asset list is reduced to a dog and an iPhone. I want a car, and a house, and a husband, and children. But if I never have any of that, I have Jesus forever and ever and ever. I can seriously live with that. I am content. I guess I needed to get to a place where I have nothing to realize that nothing is a lot.

The Light of the World

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 06:56:32 -0500

I used to be really afraid of the dark. Now I’m only sorta afraid of the dark. I don’t like the dark because I can’t tell what is coming in front of me. I can’t predict what will happen next so I can’t prepare myself for it. Things, bad things, could be upon me before I have a chance to plan my reaction. I tend to struggle when things are uncertain.

I don’t think I’m the only one with this issue. The fear of the future causes most of us to do unhealthy, control-type things to ease the discomfort of the ambiguity. I tend to worry. Or I play out every “what-if” scenario possible and exhaust every possibility in my mind. Nothing ever plays out the way I’ve envisioned. My feeble attempts to provide light to my uncertain situations do not leave me with direction. Instead, I’m often burned by the very light I’m trying to provide. I predict the wrong outcome, get worked up about it, and then look foolish when it doesn’t play out as I have “awefulized.”

The Bible says that Satan masquerades as an “angel of light” in order to confuse me even more. Predicting huge outcomes, both wonderful and terrible, he tries to divert my energy away from faith, away from trusting God for my daily bread.

King David wrote that God’s Words was a “lamp unto his feet and a light unto his path.” The only certain outcome God gives us is Heaven one day and our daily bread now. That’s it. But God will ALWAYS provide our daily bread. He will always give us the “light to our path” so we can see the next step. He doesn’t give us the whole picture in this dark world. He offers to BE our Light, illuminating our next steps as we walk WITH Him.

So in this dark world, my faith will not protect me from the everyday darkness that often surrounds my life. I will not know how things will play out or what emergencies hover, waiting for me to walk into them. But I do know this: my Light will give me the wisdom and strength to see what I need in each moment of the path. And the end of this journey will end in a place that is bathed in Light, so bright our human eyes can’t withstand it. I can’t be God, nor would I want the job. I can’t see everything. But I walk with One who can and who promises to see it for me, guiding me to my happy ending, whether on this side of eternity or the next.

I pray that God’s nature is more deeply revealed to me and you, that we may see His light and not mistake it for His enemy’s lies. I pray that our eyes may adjust to seek only the Light at our feet rather than needing to see the whole room, to understand the whole situation before we can move forward. And I pray that we will receive our “daily bread” from our Father, His provision for our needs as we walk through a very dark world.

Thank you for taking the time to read my little blog. Blessings to you!

Fall Changes Things

Sun, 8 Nov 2009 08:29:16 -0500

Is it me or is it hard to believe it is already November? Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I heard “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” in Target. What?! You know what this means, don’t you? Another year has flown by and we still act like we’re shocked by the date.

This got me thinking...cause that’s what I do. Each year life changes drastically. If we put ten of those years together, we are a light age beyond where we were back in the 90’s. Technology has changed, TV shows have changed, music and cultural things are different...

My body has certainly changed! But, in the last year, has my heart changed? Am I being transformed or am I holding on to the same mind, the same attitudes as last year?

When leaves change color it is because they are dying. As they die, the green pigment fades (which is needed for growth and nourishment) and their true colors are revealed. As all the changes from the years catch up with me, my true colors are revealed as well. What kind of person am I?

When someone causes an accident that totals my Mini, can I forgive? Yes. Ten years ago that would have been hard. When a co-worker hurts my feelings or offers a constant assault of difficult situations, can I manage my heart through it? Yes. Eight years ago that would have been too hard. If a close friend wounds me in deep places, can I love anyway? Yes. Three years ago that would have been too hard.

So maybe this season of dying and true colors teaches us that Spring always comes and, if we let it do its thing, we will be enabled to make room for more growth.

Why I Do What I Do...

Tue, 3 Nov 2009 21:45:20 -0500

This is a picture of my office. I work a lot of hours in this room. To be honest, sometimes it is really hard work. I often feel the weight of people’s marriages, their difficult pasts, and their present chaos. I am usually very tired after my 9-hour day. I sleep hard and try to play hard on the weekends to keep the balance.

But sometimes, more often than not, I get to see small miracles in this room. I’ve seen husbands finally find their courage to step up to loving their wives well. I’ve seen women finally grieve the loss of their childhood innocence. I’ve had the honor of being the first to hear the trauma stories and the first to see how God has healed them.

While the business of counseling is often very frustrating and tedious (case-notes, case-loads, reports) the relationships of counseling, the opening up and healing of souls, is worth every minute. I don’t heal people, but I get to see how it happens and what it looks like. Everyday, in this office, God’s Kingdom is advanced a little more. Counseling is a tool that, when used by the Healer, becomes a powerful instrument of redemption.

I may not do counseling forever, but I will forever honor and love the people who have honored me and allowed me to walk with them. I hope I have many more months and years of doing this, working with people who need God in the vulnerable places of their hearts. I love to see God bind broken hearts and set captives free.

Step Into the Deep

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 21:49:46 -0400

We had another awesome women’s retreat this weekend. I was one of three speakers at this intimate event to lead women of our church to a deeper walk with God. I spoke this morning about our Eve moments, the moments that we realize we’ve done something we can’t fix. How often we try to hide it, or minimize it, or ignore it altogether.

This group of women was ready for what God had for them. As we prayed for Him to stir our hearts to bring up what we were hiding, these women became very real with God. I so admired that. I want to be authentic with God and stop the hiding. I don’t mean to hide sometimes. I am just so used to it that I don’t know that I’m doing it...until I want to hang out with God. I feel His wooing and I can’t respond because I’m hiding behind a huge fig leaf trying not to be exposed.

Natalie Grant sings a song called “Safe.” In it she says:

“When You uncover, I discover I am not afraid.
But when we’re hiding, we end up fighting to stay safe.”

When I allow God to gently uncover my shame and guilt, I discover I have nothing to fear. My debt is paid in full. When I hide my sin, ignore it, or try to master it myself, I find myself fighting to survive. I don’t need to survive. I need to die to that part of me so that I can live.

My prayer for the women we met this weekend is that God would gently uncover the wounds and shame and offer His gentle healing to the raw places. Shakespeare what right: “Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned.” But the flip side is that there is nothing more beautiful and powerful than a woman who knows she is loved. I pray that these woman may experience how deep, wide, and high is God’s love for them.

Amen

God Provides

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 06:47:02 -0400

So I wrecked my car, got a ticket (in the accident), and I think I may have lost a filling. Not sure. The rental went back yesterday since the insurance settled on Friday. I have no car, and if that’s not punishment enough, I have to pay a fine. A friend told me that she got the same ticket and it cost her $600. I freaked! Lots of loss in one chunk.

I spoke with my dad on Saturday about my car situation. I almost bought a new one that day but he told me to wait. He wants to help me. He is offering 0% financing on a car if I can wait until Thanksgiving to buy one in Charlotte. Hmmmm...ah YEAH! Of course I can wait. But what about going to work? My mom arrived yesterday, just after I dropped of the rental, to give me her car until then. My dad is coming today to pick her up.

I called about the ticket: it’s $145. And my insurance has accident forgiveness so it won’t cost more. And I have dental insurance.

It’s funny how the little things build up and how God begins working in the little things. He knows what I need before I do and He works out the details before I need to worry about them. Oh, I still worry about them. But I’m learning that He is already there. The details are the places He loves to show up in. The seemingly insignificant moments that, when piled together become overwhelming, are the places that He shines.

I cannot express enough gratitude for my parents, my car insurance, and $145 to cover the ticket. But I don’t forget the Source. He is the Great Puzzle God who can put all the pieces together at the right time to make a chaotic picture come together. I pray you experience Him in the tiny details of life.

God Pointing

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 08:22:45 -0400

The relationship between the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit is perfect and complete. The oneness they share cannot be separated or even wedged. It is a relationship of perfect and constant submission.

Jesus was clear that everything He did was out of submission to the Father. The Father has always been clear that He exalts the name of Jesus above every other name. The Holy Spirit never attempts to spotlight Himself, but instead He always shines on what God the Father and God the Son are doing. Three in One, able to operate in perfect unity. Wow.

The Father sent the Son. The Son sent the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit sends you and me. There is a relationship of oneness described in this that is so intimate and integrated it is hard to comprehend. Each member of the Trinity has the power of the Godhead. And yet, each member willingly submits that power to the other.

We were created in this image. We are powerful creatures who, within the context of that power, submit to others willingly. Bob Dylan was right when he said that we’re “gonna have to serve somebody.” Our design requires it. Service to self ends in disaster most of the time. Using our power for ourselves does not heal the deepest places within our broken hearts and somehow we know it.

Ephesians 5:21-33 gives us a picture of this kind of mutual submission, but within the context of our everyday relationships. As we submit to one another, we begin to live in the same kind of fellowship as the Trinity. He asks that wives point to their husbands and husbands to their wives. Children are to point to their parents in obedience and parents are to point to their children by not provoking them to anger. Bosses and employees are to point to each other in respect. These connections are not ends in and of themselves. God offers us these relationships to teach us more about Himself.

Jesus invites us into this fellowship. In Philippians 2 we learn that Jesus emptied Himself to become one of us, making a way for us to join in this intimacy with God. He is inviting our hearts to the center of His fellowship. God, through Jesus, is pointing to us first.

Isaiah 65:1-2 says, “I revealed Myself to those who did not seek Me. To a nation that did not call on My name I said, ‘Here am I, here am I.’ All day long I have held out My hands to an obstinate people, who walk in ways not good, pursuing their own imaginations...” God is pointing to you. Will you point back?

Its Just a Thing

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 06:49:48 -0400

The day I got my Mini I was thankful that God had provided it for me. I needed a car and got an awesome little buddy. Seriously. If you’ve ever owned a Mini you know what I mean. They are just fun.

I also understood that God gave me the car to use but that it was not permanent in my life. While I didn’t want to suddenly lose it, I am grateful for the time I had to experience it. She was a great car.

Now I know, from the outside, this sounds silly. But all this started to make me think about eternity. There are no car wrecks in Heaven. There are no traffic jams. No need for speed limits and stop lights. Heaven is home, not here.

Technically, I own a home and a condo and a boat and 3 cars. My parents have all this in a trust and I’m the executor. In other words, I already own a lot, I just don’t live like it here. Heaven is the same way. I believe that in Heaven I have a house on water that has an amazing mountain view. I ask God all the time for a cool car, a great view, and lots of fun adventure at my true home. Knowing that Heaven is out there, waiting for me one day, gives me what I need to say goodbye here. Goodbye is not forever in God’s economy. It’s just for now.

I want to live my life in such a way that people see glimpses of Heaven in me. I don’t want to settle for what the world has to offer - even a really awesome Mini Cooper. God is who He says He is and He is good, even when my most prized possession is gone. Its just a thing. Replaceable, destructible, temporary. I don’t want to live for here. I want to live for Eternity. How about you?

Ouch!

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 16:49:47 -0400

Well that definitely left a mark! So what happened? I know you are asking that so let me tell you....

Morning traffic was especially bad this morning. It is a very random thing here in Savannah. Some mornings I fly into work, other times it takes me 20 minutes. There are no patterns or days or times that measure what days will be bad...it just happens sometimes.

About 3 cars ahead of me, I saw a car smoking and the driver pulled into the left shoulder. As I began to pass, the passenger opened her door into traffic and I had to dodge her. As I watched her avoid me, traffic had stopped. As I turned and saw the cars in front of me at a sudden halt, it was too late. My little Mini basically went up under a Ford Explorer (which is fine, by the way) and crunched the hood up. Fortunately for me, my car is built to protect me and it did. The extent of my injuries are some soreness that feels like a hard workout. I am using ice and Advil to keep the soreness down. I’m hoping that’s it.

As I was waiting for my awesome roommate to pick me up, my car already towed, I sat in the back of a police car. Laughing, I told him that I was a professional counselor that worked for a church and that all the traffic issues I had caused had now seen me climb into his police car. He laughed and said, “Well, at least you can identify with them now!”

I know many of you have prayed for me today. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

The Wounded Vine

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 21:17:57 -0400

I was reflecting on Jesus our Vine (from John 15). When I truly think about what He was implying, it overwhelms my heart. Jesus is not asking to be a higher priority in our lives. Jesus is asking to be the Source of our lives.

In the book Abiding in Christ, Andrew Murray points out that in order for a branch to be engrafted into a vine, the vine must be wounded. The outside of the vine is literally ripped open so the sap within begins to run out. The branch is then placed flush with the vine and is held there until the two are healed together, forming an unbreakable bond.

Jesus is the Vine. We are the branches. Jesus was wounded so that we could bring our pain, our disconnection to His wounds and stay there, abide with Him, until we are healed together with Him in intimate oneness. By His wounds we are truly healed.

I think our problem is that we don’t remain. We don’t abide because the pain from our wounds make us restless and unable to sit still. Our temptation is to relieve the pain by helping others, or staying busy, or escaping our reality. Jesus is asking us to abide. Stay with Him until the wounds heal with His. Allow Him to offer His torn body as the cure for your broken heart. Don’t run away but, instead, refuse to become another. As we remain in Him, and heal in Him, His life-giving sap begins to flow through our once disconnected lives and His Fruit of the Spirit begins to flourish in what once produced only thorns.

Jesus is THE Vine. Jesus is your Vine. My prayer for you today is that you will be able to remain in Him long enough to experience the amazing healing of your Savior. There is a wound on the Vine that fits whatever wound is in your heart. By His wounds you are healed.

Thanks for reading! God Bless:)

New Jersey Pastor’s Wives

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 09:58:33 -0400

I had the honor, and I mean honor, to speak to an amazing group of Pastor’s Wives in New Jersey this weekend. Most of these women serve with their husbands in small congregations throughout the State. Because most of these churches are small, a great number of these women work full-time jobs and raise a family, or take care of aging parents, while they do the full-time task of supporting their husbands in the important roles they play. These women embody the strength that makes the “behind every great man” statement true.

As a woman in full-time ministry, I understand the “fishbowl” lifestyle that comes with the job. Often it feels like everyone can look in but nobody can reach in. I loved, this weekend, to see these women reach out to each other and connect. As we explored what it means to truly abide in Christ, these women were able to relax and focus, for some rare moments, on their own journeys rather than on how to lead others. They could share their own prayer requests instead of requests for the needs of others. I pray that, for them, it was a cool drink of water on a hot day.

New Jersey was beautiful. The leaves were changing and there was an awesome crispness in the air. After record highs in Savannah last week, it felt good to be cold. It felt good, as we drove to the airport, to see the Empire State Building in the distance. Sometimes I really miss NYC. But then I remember what it’s like to have health insurance and a salary and I remember how much I like to VISIT NYC. It is such an amazing city.

So if any of you reading this attended this last weekend...God speed on your abiding journey. Blessings to you!!

What is faith?

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 07:08:10 -0400

When you ask about someone’s faith, usually they will tell you about their church (or lack of church) or about how they believe in God and try to live a good life. Asking about faith has become more a question of “what religion are you?” “I’m Methodist.” But the Bible doesn’t talk about Methodists directly. It does, however, speak a lot about faith.

According to Hebrews 11:6, there are two parts to Biblical faith: we must believe that God is and that He rewards those who seek Him. First, we must acknowledge that God is the I AM. When Moses met God on Mount Sinai and asked His name, God replied, “I Am Who I Am.” Faith requires us to acknowledge this fact. God is. And He is who He says He is. So who is He?

He is the Creator, Preserver, Master, and Lord. He is the Almighty, All Sufficient King. He is a Covenant God who heals, provides, sanctifies, sees our deepest parts, and delivers us. He is our Banner, our Peace, our Righteousness, our Judge, our Rock, and our Hope. He is the Shepherd, the Savior, the Redeemer, and the Most High God. He is the Lord of Hosts, the Mighty One, our Shield and Strength. He is Jealous, Holy, and Everlasting. He is Always There, First and Last, the Living God. He is our Father. He is our Husband. He is the Breath of Life. He Is.

Next, we are told that God rewards those who seek Him. Usually we can acknowledge that God exists. But the part that He is good gets a bit difficult.

In Genesis 3, Satan lied to Eve about God’s character. He stated that God was holding out on them, not wanting them to be like Him, and so He was withholding the knowledge of good and evil. In essence, Satan was accusing God of not being good. And so, Scripture tells us to believe the truth. Faith is both acknowledging that God is THE God, and believing, contrary to the lies we have heard about Him, that He is very good.

So when someone asks about your faith, what will you say now?

“To” VS “Through”

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 07:49:36 -0400

Ownership is about the only power we small humans have. But when wielded well it is the power to walk as image-bearing children of the Most High God rather than defeated sinners who can’t lift our heads off the pillow in the morning. Ownership is not waiting for something to happen “to” us but instead allowing God to do something “through” us. So what do I mean by ownership?

Once upon a time a long lost uncle died and left his unsuspecting nephew a beautiful beach house. Ta da! This excited nephews now owned water-front property. It was his beach house. About two years later, a huge hurricane came and demolished that house, along with every other house within a five-mile radius. This man still owned the house. He also owned the decisions for what would happen next with that property. Nothing was going to happen to him for this mess to change. It wasn’t his fault that the hurricane destroyed everything. But the house was still his responsibility. Change would happen through his actions as he took charge of his pile of rubble.

Ownership of our painful pasts are just like the beach house. Often, especially when we are children, we did not cause the hurricanes of our lives. We were given the Breath of Life but then it seemed the events that followed left us destroyed. We do not own the hurricanes, we own the pile of rubble. We do not blame ourselves for what others have done to us. We do not own the actions and intentions of others. We do, however, own the pile of rubble left behind. We own our feelings, our actions, our words, our coping strategies, and our thoughts. If we own them we can do something about them. If we sit and stare at the mess, waiting for the hurricane to fix it, we will always be waiting. We will always feel entitled without any change. Ownership is our power for life to get better.

Livin’ the dream...

Tue, 6 Oct 2009 22:21:42 -0400

Tomorrow is a big day for me. I’m sending a book proposal to InterVarsity Press. I met an IVP representative at the AACC Conference who gave me an editor’s card. After contacting him, he expressed a willingness to review my materials to see if IVP might publish my work. I have been praying for 10 years to finish and publish this book. I have finished it and am hoping this is the chance to finally get this material published.

My book addresses our need to break through our day-to-day Christian lives to experience the deep healing of the Abundant Life. Life on this side of Eden is not what we hoped for. It is not what we were made for. Something is missing. As we abide in Christ, we offer Him our hearts. God, in turn, offers His heart. We point to Him. He points to us. We give Him our pain. He heals and restores us to wholeness. We give our sin. He gives His forgiveness. We give our lives. He gives His Life. We breathe out ourselves and inhale His presence, a fluid motion of abiding. This is the Abundant Life. This is the Art of Breathing.

My passion for writing this comes from ten years of living it. As a professional Christian counselor, I have explored and studied how human beings handle the trauma of everyday living after the Fall. Observing others has also forced me to look into my own life. I have witnessed God transform and heal places in my own heart that I did not know could be healed. But beyond my healing, I have seen God use this material to truly heal others. I believe this book is the fruit of my healing that is not meant for me, but for a hurting, hungry world. Working within the context of a church, I notice the “normal” Christian experience to lack abundance. Everyone claims to want the Life Jesus promised but all the striving and church attendance are not accomplishing it. Head knowledge is not enough. Knowledge alone just makes us tired. I believe, with all of my heart, that God intends for us to experience His fullness now, not just in Heaven. This book comes from an inner drive, almost a compulsion, to reach others with God’s invitation to abide in Him. But this is more than just an invitation. People need to know how to abide in Jesus. I believe, and it is my prayer, this manuscript will teach them just that.

That being said, my audience is the church-attending evangelical who just can’t seem to find the abundance part of the Abundant Life. While many different kinds of people will be able to eavesdrop on my conversation and glean the message for themselves, I am speaking to the woman in my Sunday School class whose marriage is falling apart, who tithes and takes communion, but believes the Bible does not work for her they way it seems to be working for others. She is the Christian who can’t forgive herself for the past and is trying desperately to find the right “formula” to win God’s favor. In her head, of course, she knows this is not the truth. But her heart’s experience won’t allow her to live according to what her head knows. She feels trapped and, therefore, she goes through the motions of church and faith but her heart still feels broken. It is my passionate desire to reach her with the depth of the Gospel and see her life transformed, even if her circumstances never change.

I pray this work will finally see book form. If you feel so led, I would appreciate your prayers as well.

When coping to survive is killing us...

Sat, 3 Oct 2009 22:24:05 -0400

I spoke with a group of women this evening about all the ways we try to survive our fallen nature. Designed for intimacy, we isolate or escape to addictions. Made with dignity and ability, we live as victims in passivity or entitlement. Confused about our humanity, we strive to become independent masters of our own fate. All these approaches rip us from what is most true about us: we were made for intimate connection and relationship with our Creator. Why is this so hard? If the Abundant Life is ours for the taking then why don’t we take it? But maybe that’s our problem. What if it’s not ours to take but ours to receive? What if we cannot achieve this life through our attempts and efforts? The Abundant Life requires humility not effort. But just like Adam and Eve, we are trying to do life without connection to the Source of Life. They wanted the knowledge of good and evil (an attribute of God) without needing to know God. We, also, want His presents (wisdom, strength, blessing) without His presence. Unfortunately for us, our attempts to “work the formulas” and “be good Christians” keeps us from experiencing what God is actually offering. Our attempts to survive the Fall are killing us.

Isolation

Fri, 2 Oct 2009 06:39:28 -0400

I’m so thankful for my friends and family. It has taken a long time, but I truly feel connected to others. But I meet so many people that are so isolated, so insulated from healthy relationships and am reminded how broken our souls really are. It makes sense to me. When Adam and Eve made a poor food choice, their consequence was a loss of relationship. It was their death. Jesus came to give life...abundantly. He said that real life, the eternal kind, was in KNOWING God (John 17:3). This word is not about information but intimate connection. It’s the same word that 1st Century Jews used for the way a man KNOWS his wife. We need God to heal us from our isolation. We need Him to gently relieve us from the numbness that comes from lack of connection. There is power in numbers and we get picked off when we’re alone.

So if we are isolated, how do we get back? How do we come out of hiding (even if we are around people all day) and let ourselves be known? It’s hard sometimes. But maybe a starting place is to allow God to speak gentle words to us. Maybe instead of embracing a harsh, stern, “you’re getting what you deserve” inner voice, we need to listen for the tender words of a Savior: “I have come that you may have life, and that abundantly!” (John 10:10).

My friend Pius

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 21:58:15 -0400

On Sunday I had the honor of hanging out with Pius. I first met Pius in Rwanda when I was there last year. He is the Director of the Good News Prison Ministry in Rwanda and is in charge of all the prison chaplains in the country. More than a dozen of his family were killed in the Genocide and yet, through the grace and forgiveness of Christ, he is able to minister to the very people who devastated his life. He is a testimony to what God can do in the life of one surrendered to Him.

As I mentioned, I did a counselor training there last year and Pius informed me that they are using my training every day in every prison in Rwanda. How amazing is that?! God is so good! I dream of returning to Rwanda for an entire month to work with Pius and within the prisons to continue the training with his chaplains and staff. I am praying for open doors to do just that. We will see....

Once Upon a Time

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 14:50:19 -0400

As I prepare to teach a class tonight, I was thinking about our individual stories that we call life. When asked about our lives we describe what we do, who we are related to, and memories along the way. When I watch a play or movie, all the people in the production have their own stories, but somehow everyone fits into a bigger story with a moral and a happy ending. I think that’s us. We become so consumed with our own stories that we forget the Big Story, God’s Story that we’re living in. In my story, suffering makes no sense and it to be avoided at all cost. In God’s Story, suffering is redeemed and used to promote the Story.

Above is a picture of a field in Rwanda where Genocide criminals serve time after prison and everything they earn goes to the families whose lives they destroyed. To the individuals, both the victims and the workers in this field, how do their stories makes sense without some bigger Story to redeem them? If God can’t heal, restore, and redeem us then our individual stories are just sad. But if God can do all He says He can do, then our stories are the characters in His Story about making all things new. Our stories become how He tells His Story. I want a part in that drama!

AACC Conference

Sun, 20 Sep 2009 13:14:32 -0400

I just got home from the AACC World Conference after a LONG ride from Nashville to Savannah through the middle of the night. What an adventure! I heard from some of the most brilliant Christian thinkers of our time and left exhausted in the best sense. I also was honored to speak with about 400 counselors about The Art of Breathing, although the focus was mainly on the treatment of trauma. I heard from many that the presentation not only helped them in their ministries but also personally, proving that God heals through His designed process. It’s interesting to me that God heals sometimes just by us comprehending the process, not because we have yet engaged in it. My conclusion from the conference is this: it’s all about God. Period. It’s all about His healing, His abilities, and our connection to Him.